Privacy

 As I get older, and wary, privacy has become even more important to me. I don't know if I'll write much publicly again. I did buy a fantastic new keyboard, which is such a shame, as it begs to be used prodigiously. I just don't feel like sharing my life in full, anymore. 

Books in 2023

 January 2023

San Fransicko, How Progressives Ruin Cities - Michael Shellenberger

February 2023

NA

March 2023

The Battle Over Lee Kuan Yew’s Last Will by Sudhir Thomas Vadaketh

April 2023

The Kingdom of Prep by Maggie Bullock

May 2023 

Bali: Sekala & Niskala: Essays on Religion, Ritual, and Art by Fred A. Eiseman Jr. (unfinished)

June 2023

Miami Faena Review - September 2021

 Situated along Miami’s Mid Beach, hotelier, fashion designer and cultural engineer Alan  Faena’s eponymous hotel welcomed us into its nave, a gold-columned lobby flanked  by monumental murals. Designed by the Argentinean artist Juan Gatti, the murals,  bursting collages of mythological, religious, and astrological iconography, set the tone  for our visit: decadence, seduction, fecundity, and possibility. The iconic Faena red, a  bright, blue-red, punctuates the hotel’s interior, theatrically designed by Baz Luhrmann  and Catherine Martin, from top to bottom. We were ushered to our own check-in desk  hidden in a richly adorned alcove, where glittering bric et brac overwhelmed—from  leopard skinned armchairs, to diamond encrusted corals, to jewel-toned enamels. 

At check-in, we were lightly warned that it was the Latin American Music Awards and  Faena was hosting. Because it was a full house, we were told to make reservations for  restaurants and for beach chairs as far in advance as possible. This was perhaps the  kindest, most backhanded way of saying that we should not expect too much help  unless we were Maluma or Cardi B. That afternoon, crowds with butterfly dispositions  gathered in stilettos, slinky dresses and limited edition sneakers. Smelling of  sunscreen, sweat, and perfume frosted over by air on blast, voguish crowds vaped  indoors indiscreetly, knowing that they were too glamorous to be stopped. The music,  a predictable techno beat, was muted by the fabulous conversations flitting between  guests. It was an unmistakably holiday feeling. 

We took a gilded elevator to our ocean-facing suite and opened a heaving door to a  sophisticated scene. There, a velvety-red sofa sat atop a kaleidoscopic Persian rug,  flanked by table lamps with golden palm trees for its bases. The TV was set to its  welcome channel which played a Faena ad campaign; a sticky jingle that was quirky,  mysterious, and fun at once. For the reader (me), the coffee table book of choice was  about none other than Alan Faena; the Rizzoli tome dissected and showcased the  founder’s ethos, hedging our descent into Faena’s world.  

We took our complementary Faena label wine and tropical fruit—lychee, starfruit,  papaya and lime—to our balcony, which was softly framed by aquamarine drapes,  evocative of the sparkling Atlantic. We soaked in the bright Miami ski and breathed in  the warm ocean below, inhaling salt and, strangely, whiffs of meat roasting on a spit below, belonging to Los Fuegos, the open-fire concept restaurant by Francis Mallmann.  Just beyond, Damian Hirst’s Gone But Not Forgotten was the foci of the courtyard. The  brilliance of the skeletal mammoth, gilded in gaudy gold, was shrouded by shade while its glass cage suffered an assault to its bottom right corner. It was not quite what we were expecting from the pièce de résistance of Faena’s art collection, but we forgave quickly given the strains of the pandemic. 

In the bedroom, scalloped sconces flanked a bright white bedspread. Its cool comfort  was a welcome contrast to the muggy heat. The bathroom impressed, with its deep  tub, top-of-the-range bidet and Faena-red toiletries. Enveloped in pearlescent  herringbone tile, the bathroom was a cavernous respite from the clinging beach. The  accents of red, blue and white run the risk of appearing nautical, but at Faena it reads 

as “Miami cool.” Everyday, we were gratified by our housekeeper who, with the encouragement of tips, liberally replenished our towels and acqua panna. 

Faena has four restaurants, four bars, a gym, spa, theater and private beach. At  Veranda, the extensive breakfast ranged from lobster avocado toast, to vegan hash, to  key lime french toast, served atop gold-leafed plates on a shaded outdoor terrace. At  Los Fuegos, we sunk our teeth into perfectly grilled meats and dined on traditional  South American rustic recipes. Our favorite restaurant, Pao by Paul Qui, was a  memorable night of expertly married Filipino, Spanish, Japanese and French cuisine. 

Faena’s private white sand beach was dotted with generously sized red-and-white  umbrellas and reclining lounge chairs. We showed up after lunch and were pleasantly  surprised that without reservation we easily snagged two chairs. Between soothing  laps in the shallows of the ocean, we took welcomed sips of fresh coconut juice. While  we didn’t make it to the spa on this recent trip, we did walk through the spa, through  the gift shop, to the gym, where we squeezed in a quick workout before dinner at Pao.  Though our trip was short, we did make a point of catching Tryst Cabaret at the Faena  Theater. The contemporary cabaret, a seductive swirl of singing, acrobatics, fire-eating,  tasseled bras, and comedy, enticed and teased us, gouding me to flout propriety as the  host Ariana Savalas shamelessly flirted with my husband.  

We loved our stay at Faena, though there were a few instances where customer service  felt limited. At check-in, for example, setting the expectations that staff would be  strained because of the Awards made us feel lesser-than. We felt that to really take  customer service to the next level, the concierge might’ve taken the initiative to  immediately make reservations on our behalf. While at the pool, because the pool bar was closed, we were told to purchase our drinks at the restaurant and walk them over ourselves. While not a gargantuan task for us, it would’ve been exceptional if the staff had offered to get us our drinks instead. Notedly, the hotel advertised a car service by Alpha Romeo, however I inquired about it multiple times and the car was perpetually engaged. Given our demonstrated interest, it would’ve been better if the concierge offered the car when it was knowingly available.  Finally, we felt a little sorry for the golden mammoth, whose presence would’ve elevated the courtyard had its broken cage been fixed and illuminated. While staff did their job, we didn’t feel that anyone had gone above and beyond; such actions take a four to a five star hotel. 

Despite these pale misgivings, We left Faena with a light buzz. Our experience was  both energizing and relaxing; the hotel’s accommodations, interiors, restaurants,  entertainment and crowd were inspiring, and put together they were a convincing  argument for the Faena way of life. Faena is now lodged in our memories until the tinkly  tune of its jingle pulls us back. 

Running for yourself

 A sign to stop running for others, but instead to run for myself. 

Books in 2022

 January

Happy Ever After, Escaping the Myths of the Perfect Life - Paul Dolan 

February

-

March

-

April

-

May

The Palace Papers, Tina Brown 

June

The Splendid and the Vile, Erik Larson 

Severance, Ling Ma

July

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Taylor Jenkins Reid

August

Permanent Record, ES

September

Essence and Alchemy, Mandy Aftel

October

The Tale of Peter Rabbit, Beatrix Potter

November

The Emma Project, Sonali Dev

December

Circe, Madeline Miller

The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin, Beatrix Potter

The Tale of the Tailor of Gloucester, Beatrix Potter 

(I read two children's books to make 12, haha! quite bad this year) 

Stop Asian Hate

Having to educate others about what hurts my feelings or offends my race is so tiring. Even people who love me and don't believe they are racist need to make a better effort to walk in my shoes. 

First-hand micro aggressions 

- I went to the optometrist last weekend and my white doctor commented on my glasses: "wow I notice a lot of asians have the same kind of glasses as you. That Harry Potter type of round spectacle look..." 

- Standing in line with my husband at immigration, a white man from Texas says to us: "Oh so you're Chinese and he's German, you guys will have beautiful babies!" 

And then there are the exchanges that you just *feel* are racist and hard to describe why. Like when someone begrudgingly has to provide a service to you and doesn't want to because you're asian. 

First-hand outright racism

- After the 2016 election, I walked into a bar in NY on the UES and a belligerent woman shouts at me and my cousin: "go back to your own country!" Nobody in the bar tells her to leave including the bartender that witnessed the exchange. We had to leave instead. 

- In Paris, I gave a homeless man and his dog 5 euros. He then looks up at me and says in French, my dog hates Chinese people. 

Books in 2021

January - Educated, Tara Westover

I couldn't put this book down. As I read this book I also referenced google a number of times to watch Tara's interviews and to look for responses to the book from her family. A day after reading, I am haunted by one particular theme in the book: manipulation. There were many instances of it, including by her father, mother, brother, sister and even professors; her reality was constantly shifting and it was so unnerving to watch. I was also especially disturbed by her relationship to her brother. Even though he was physically violent towards her, she had stockholm syndrome and kept returning for more. I love how her writing makes you inhabit the same space with her. Many times, upon feeling uncomfortable, I wanted to stop reading (I knew how the book ended because I love googling spoilers) but I didn't want to miss her account of it so I pushed on. Having finished the book, I am inspired to revisit my thoughts around furthering my own education. I do think, however, that going to graduate school is a huge mistake unless you already have a plan for what comes after. It's a lot of money and I'm not exceptional enough to win scholarships in the way Tara did. This is what I mean by exceptional: it seems like she was at the right place at the right time with her professor at BYU, who took an interest in her uncommon upbringing, and then she was referred to her MA program by her mentor at Cambridge. Was she tokenized by her BYU professor when she was chosen for the summer program at Cambridge? As for her Cambridge MA, getting professor referrals for MA/PhD programs are the equivalent of job referrals; access is easier when you know someone who knows someone. Of course, I believe Tara is an inspiring individual; not everyone gets to go to Cambridge/Harvard with"normal" qualifications and then write an international bestseller. She is also a motivated learner, putting herself through school when her family, finances and educational background disallowed it. I am just not sure if this could ever happen to me, who had the privilege of growing up to be quite boring. 

February - Range, David Epstein

I really pushed myself to finish this book. It's not a bad book, it's just a very long book. The book reveals its thesis in the first chapter and then follows with 280 pages of case study after case study. I believe the take away is incredibly valuable, especially for people like me, a generalist with flexibility to mould into any industry or role. My greatest take away was to experiment quickly and widely as I like. I shouldn't feel guilty about having so many interests, albeit superficial. I won't know if I'd like to pursue something further if I force myself into early specialization and miss the chance at discovering what I truly love. 

March - Calypso, David Sedaris

I raced through Calypso in two days on my depart/return flight from Hawai'i. Fun, heartwarming, insightful and humorous. A collection of short stories covering family and aging. Nothing major to takeaway except that it was a breath of fresh air from my heavier read (Caste and its Discontents, Isabel Wilkerson) which I just can't seem to get through without falling asleep. But that is a review for another time. 

March - The Moment of Lift, Melinda Gates

I loved this book; I started reading it without much expectations however I've always been interested in the Foundation's work so I was curious to read about it from Melinda's perspective. I loved that she spent a lot of time talking about female contraception, which is a topic I'm also very passionate about. The book didn't cover male contraception which is curious, since a huge focus of hers is on gender equity. I also loved that she covered other important facets of life like splitting up domestic labor and unpaid work. Sadly I don't see many men picking up a book that is so heavily focused on women; I wonder how she would apply her own belief that "change happens from within" with her own book. How does she intend to get her book in the hands of men, because both genders have to buy into her overarching concept to do the work? I might have to look up some interviews to see how she covers this. For myself, the book has inspired me to continue work on my HPV learning series. I've finished the writing and done my research on potential partners. Now, I just need to reach out to see how to make an impact. Sadly we've had a bout of Covid at home so my plans will have  to wait just a bit longer! 

April - The New Tsar, Steven Lee Myers 

I finished the first half of this book in April which covered the nascent beginnings of Mr P. and his fortuitous ascent to power. 

May - The New Tsar, Steven Lee Myers 

The latter half of the book covered a ton about corruption within the K, how business transactions are made to the benefit of the economy, priorities of Mr P., how the constitution was changed to dictate the outcome of elections, and the future of the country. An exhaustive book which ends its recording in 2014. 

June - Nobody Will Tell You This, Bess Kalb

Sped read this one on  a flight to LA. Loved it, it was so nuanced, nourishing and funny.

July - Crying in H Mart, Michelle Zauner

Heartwrenchingly beautiful. Cried endlessly, but also hungry to discover more of Korean cuisine. 

July - I Remember Nothing, and Other Reflections, Nora Ephron

I needed a short read, something humorous. Nora Ephron always delivers. 

August - People We Meet On Vacation, Emily Henry

Weird plot line, seems like there are some holes in the narrative but forgivable. Still enjoyable nonetheless as I always prefer a happy ending. 

September - Hunger, Roxane Gay

Brutally honest, uncomfortable and eyeopening. It's like reliving her trauma on every page. Kind of a difficult read if you're mentally in a bad space. Had to read in small chunks of time. 

October - The Best of Me, David Sedaris

November - A Drip, A Drop, A Deluge (Advanced copy) 

December - The Best of Me, David Sedaris (cont.) 

and done.